Dynamics adjustment and living of child in divorced family

Abstract

The study of dynamic adjustment and child living in divorced family aims to examine effects of parents’ divorce on children, children’s strategies in adjusting themselves and dealing with the divorced situation through empowering themselves for living in daily lives. Therefore the children can live every day without any problem of imperfect family. This study is a qualitative research and collects data by informal talk, in-depth interview, and partial observation. The sample subjects are thirty teenage children in Bangkok who have divorced parents. The research found that parents’ divorce mostly affect children in different ways depending on family environment. The impacts include the difficulty in children living since most of them live with their mother after her divorce without any help or responsibility from father who should be responsible for expenditures in his own family. It is absolutely said that the divorce of parents also has the effects on children mind. Due to feeling of sadness and depression to this situation, some children cannot deal with the divorced situation so that their personalities have been changed. That is to say, cheerful child has become confined and taciturn. The parents’ divorce also causes health problem such as peptic ulcer and tension. Some children are sarcastic to their parents; for example, they misbehave and they do not pay attention to their study. Therefore, their study outcomes have been decreased. Each child will face the situations that affect thought and feeling of being a child in divorced family. These situations involve being teased from friends, comparing with other people, participating in activities in father and mother day, being judged from mass media. Every child has adjustment types and arrangement to different feelings when they are in troubled situations in regard to separating themselves from a society, telling a teacher or a ruler(who is not their parents), protecting themselves, encountering and coping with reality. Besides, the children have to adjust to a new form of relationship having single mother or single father, living with father or mother and relatives, alternatively living with father or mother, living without communication, and living with the second family (from a new marriage of father or mother). Adjustment forms of children depend on conflict situation and relation within the family after divorcing, children’s life span when parents getting divorced, and children ability in coping with the problem. Each child has tried to adjust in a new form of family. This life experience can make them learn to face the problem as well as to consider this happening as“the truth of life”. There are different ways to make the children have power in living. Additionally, they have to understand and accept themselves that having divorced parents is normal in a society. In other words, they need to accept the reality that happens to them. Moreover, the children should plan and arrange their own lives in relation to economic planning, studying, future goal and arranging to solve problem coming to their daily lives. They can use the divorced issue of their parents as the lesson and as the driving force in future living. Children in divorced family have feeling of worthiness so they can live peacefully in a society without any problem. Suggestions of the study, divorced parents should realize and think of the feeling of their son. They should prepare the children’s readiness to any changes that might happen. After divorcing, parents should keep a relationship with their children in order to lessen the effects on the children. Apart from this, people in a society and related sectors should not determine the children in divorced family as problematic children because they do not need that kind of life. Consequently, people should understand and give them chance to reduce the risk in children’s living and to live happily in a society.